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Submitted on
January 4
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Feeling as if you were gaining a bit of weight, you went to one of your close dude friends for help, knowing your girl friends would just say 'You ain't fat! You need meat on yo bones!! Work that!'. With those kind of friends, you rarely ask them for health advice, seeing that they ate whatever the hell they wanted, without giving a crap about weight. You knew when they moved in with you next weekend, that they would bring their bad eating habits with them and wanted to know a good way of keeping the weight off.

You went to your happy, go-lucky, blonde friend, Alfred. At the moment you two were 'exercising' at the park and having lunch at the same time. "Are you sure that's how it works?", you questioned as you two slightly speed walked with burgers in hand.

"Totally dude! If you walk while eating, you would've worked off the calories by the time your done! I do it all the time and I'm in perfect, heroic, shape!"

You shrugged then took another bite of the double bacon cheese burger Al bought for you. "If you say so. Pass me some fries" You reach over into the McDonald's bag he had in his hands and scooped out a hand full of fries as Alfred worked on the chocolate milkshake he had. 

"Best way to work off fat"

"I can feel it working!"

"I know right?! Arthur just hating cause he knows it works and doesn't want to admit that the hero totally came up with the best way to work out"

"True!", you agreed as you ate the last two fries in your hand. While your teeth were hovering over your burger for another bite, you saw in the distance, what looked like a fluffy white cat. You nudged Alfred's arm with your elbow. "Aye. You see that cat too?"


"Up ahead", you point up with your half eaten burger, in the general direction you saw the cat. It was turning towards a bush then disappeared behind it.

"Yeah. Aww. It was so fluffy looking!!"

"I know! I just wanna pet it!...Alfie? If it scratches me, would you treat my wounds?"

"...Ok!", he cheerfully accepted. "You wanna go try to catch it?!"

"F yeah! That'll work up a sweat to help get off these burger calories!"

"Oh! We should first finish eating then. Since we're gonna catch a cat, we can stop and finish eating"

"Ah! Smart! You're always thinking Ally!", you look back to the bush. "Lets hurry"

"I'll watch the bush for the cat!"

"I'll eat quickly!"

"GO!", you both shouted. You began taking huge bits of the burger and chewing as fast as you could. Alfred kept an eye on the bush while he was finishing off the fries. 

That's when you got an idea with your mouth full. "I should mmmhmm!! F-for mmmhhh!!"

"Awesome idea!! Tear a piece of bacon off!", Alfred, seemingly knowing what you said though the muffling food, understood you were trying to say that it would be easier to catch the cat it you lured it with food. 

You tore off a chunk of the bacon and kept it in your fist as you finished off the burger. You pat your chest as you take deep breaths. "I'm...done..."

"Impressive!" You and him high five. "Now to catch this fluffy cat!"

You nod to each other then quickly speed off to the bush. You tip toed as you got closer. You both peek behind it and not only see the fluffly white cat, but two others. One was napping and the other two were eating scraps they probably found off the ground. "Aww! They're in a cute little pack. Cats usually don't travel in packs...I don't think...I don't really know to be honest"

"Do you think they know cute cat tricks?", Alfred questioned you, hopefully.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Getting in and out of cardboard boxes or couches"

"They look like strays. What if they've never seen a couch?"

"That would make it cuter!!"

"You and cat videos dude. Seriously, lay off of'em on the internet"

"Meow~", the soft sound of a cats yawn sounded which made both you and Alfred stop taking and watch them. The sleeping brown one, woke up and shook its fur around. It stretched its body then looked up to you. "Meow~!"

"I think it likes you, (name)", Alfred revealed to you.

"You think? Hi there kitties", you get down on your knees. "Nice kitties. Don't have rabies..." You reached your hand out to the brown one. It's green eyes followed your hand. It moved its head under it then nuzzled into your petting. "Aww! It does like me! Oh! I almost forgot" You opened your other hand, showing the bacon and the other two cats came over.

"I think they're hungry too"

"I-I was only expecting one cat...I guess I can break it into three pieces"


The three cats who went by the names of Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio, wondered around a park in search of some kind of food. The three were starving, not having a decent meal in two days. "Damn it! Why don't people ever think to drop their food somewhere we can actualy get it?!", Gilbert complained. "Trash cans are stupid!! Just toss it on the ground!"

The brown haired Spanish cat, trotted happily with his friends. "Ah, but littering is bad, mi amigo"

"Fuck you!! I'm still mad at you! We find one damn tomato, lying all on its own, beat up and bruised, outside of a restaurant, and you decide to hiss at us and eat it by yourself!!"

"I'm sorry, Gil. I don't know what happened. I haven't had a tomato since we were human"

"I'm fucking starving!! I don't care!! Whatever we find next, you get nothing, you selfish prick!!"

"You two stop arguing. I think some kid just dropped part of a hotdog on the ground"

Gilbert's ears and eyes were now alert as he scanned the park to see where. He saw a young boy reaching down to pick it up. "Don't you dare!!" His mother hit his hand and walked him away from it. "Score!! Lets go!!" They ran towards it. It looked like it was probably half of an actual one. "Awesome. Toni, you get nothing"


"Quiet you!"

"If I have enough, I'll give you some of my half, Toni", Francis reasoned with him.

"Thank you!"

Gilbert bit into one end and Francis bit into the other. "Wait!", Francis stopped him. "If we just attack it right here, someone might call the pound!"

"Mein gott! What are we suppose to do?! I'm hungry!"

"Lets move it. First we gotta cut it up so we can move it" Francis placed a paw on top of it and scratched at the middle of it with his other. "Help me!"

Gilbert bit one end and pulled. Soon it was cut in half. He took his half and went somewhere to hide. "Amigos! That bush'll work, no?"

"Nice one Toni", Gilbert mumbled as he followed him.

"Wait for me!", Francis insisted before he took his half and went after them. He caught up to them when they were already behind the bush. Gilbert was already eating though. Antonio was getting comfortable, looking as if he was getting ready for a nap. Francis then proceeded to eat his share, hoping Antonio would actually go to sleep, so he didn't have to share.

Half way through, he suddenly heard, "Aww! They're in a cute little pack. Cats usually don't travel in packs...I don't think...I don't really know to be honest" He looked up at you, the (h/c) haired girl, as you had a hand over a closed fist under your chin.

"Do you think they know cute cat tricks?", the blue eyed boy next to you asked.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Getting in and out of cardboard boxes or couches" Now Francis clearly categorized him as an idiot.

"They look like strays. What if they've never seen a couch?"

"That would make it cuter!!"

"You and cat videos dude. Seriously, lay off of'em on the internet"

Francis peeked over to Antonio who began to stir in his sleep, he quickly went back to his food. He yawned from his short cat nap and got to his feet. He shook his fur before stretching. He looked up towards you, knowing he couldn't talk now so he just send a friendly 'meow' your way.

"I think it likes you, (name)", the blonde told you.

"You think? Hi there kitties", you got on your knees. "Nice kitties. Don't have rabies..." You reached your hand out towards Antonio. He looked at it for awhile. He hasn't been petted in awhile. Especially not a woman. It was usually passing kids so he moved into your hand. You smelt like food but he thought you might run away if he licked your hands. "Aww! It does like me! Oh! I almost forgot" You opened your fist, showing you were carrying bacon with you. The other two walked over.

"I think they're hungry too"

"I-I was only expecting one cat...I guess I can break it into three pieces" They all decide to play cute, hoping you'd give the whole thing to the one you thought was the most worthy of it. Francis rubbed his head against your leg and purred. "Aww!" You pet his head. "It's so soft! I wonder if it's a boy or a girl"


You handed the bacon to the blonde in glasses before wrapping both of your hands around him. You lifted him up onto his back legs and looked. 'I-I feel so violated!', Francis thought to himself but still played cool cause he really wanted that bacon.

"This one's a boy" You put him back down then reach over to Gilbert.

'Nein! Nein! Don't look! Throw some water on me first so I can turn half human then look!'

You lift him up too. "So is this one...I want to just assume the other one is too"

'No fair!!', the two unknowingly thought at the same time.

"But! Just to be sure", you grab Antonio and lift him into the air.

'W-why do I have to be lifted into the air? C-can't I at least stay on the ground like the other two?!'

"Boy!", you sit him in your lap. "Hey. Since they have these somewhat collars around their necks, do you think they might have homes?"

"If they had homes, they wouldn't be eating hotdogs someone probably dropped"

"Yeah. I guess you're right..."

"Maybe we should take them to a shelter!", the blonde offered.

'Oh dear god, please no!', Gilbert mentally screamed. 'We just wanted your bacon!'

"Aww but I want to keep at least one of them...", you confessed. "How about I take one and give the other two to the shelter?"

'How cruel!!', the three thought at once. 'But we're gonna have to compete to see which one is gonna be her pet!'

"Which one you want?"

"Uhm...", you looked over the three of them.

Toni got comfy in your lap. "Meow~! Meow", he cuddled into you. 'Love me! Take me home, please!'

"This one's cute!"

Francis walked around your arm, that you had on the ground for support, in a circle as he purred and rubbed against it. 'Pick me! Pick me!'

"But this one's so fluffy!"

Gilbert reached up and put his paws on your shoulder. "Meow~" 'I shall win you over, frau with my awesomeness!!'

"Aww!! But this one's so adorable!! I just wanna take them all home! Oh boo! I don't know which one to pick! Alfred! You want one?"

"Nah. Iggy might yell at me if I bring home a stray cat"

"Aww...I-I...I-I want all three though...Alright screw it! I'm taking all three home!! Why break up their pack?!" You hug Antonio and reach over to pet Gilbert's head.

"How are you gonna get them home?"

You paused. "...Darn it! I can't carry them all...Alfred! Help me carry them to my car!"

"Are you sure about this (name)? I mean, what if they got a disease or something?"

'Shut up you!!'

"Come on! Stop being an Iggy. I'll take them to the vet and stuff just help me get them to the car"

"Well alright...but I hope you know how lonely having three cats look, when you're only in your twenties"

"Stop being a negative Arthur and get them to the car!", you pass him Gilbert and pick up Antonio and Francis yourself before getting up.

Gilbert glared at Alfred. 'Trying to stop her from giving us free food...You jerk' Gilbert hissed at Alfred lowly. Al looked down at him weird. He stopped. 'Hm! She might not keep me if I bite her friend...You lucky!'

When you got to your car, you put all three in the passenger's seat. "There we go!...Well! I think we had a good work out today!"

"Me too! Same time tomorrow!"

"Alright! Next time lets get Wendy's!"

"Great idea, dude!", he waved to you before jogging off towards his own car. You turn towards the three.

"Now. We're gonna go back to my house! I'm sure I got some cans of tuna around the house. Cats like tuna! When we get there, I'll name you guys!" You close the door and run to the driver's seat. When you get in, you pet each of them with a smile. "Best find ever!"

When you get to your house, you decide that you were gonna make two trips. You open their sides door, to see which two you were going to get first. You take Gilbert and Antonio. "I'll come back for you, fluffy" Francis hopped out of the car. "Fluffy!!" You look over the two who were in your arms to see that Francis was just by your feet, waiting for you. "Huh?...Wow! You guys really do like me!" You close the car door with your foot and walk towards your house. Francis followed. You sit the other two down to get your keys. "Stay...You're so well trained~! You must've been someone else's pets before!" You grab your keys and unlock the door. When it was opened, the three walk inside. "Welcome to your new home, you guys!" They roam off to your living room. "Stay here! I'm gonna go put down my stuff in my room" You close the front door as you hum all the way to your room.

"This house isn't half bad", Gilbert commented.

Antonio jumped onto the couch. "I know! I can't believe she took all three of us! She's so nice~!"

"I can't believe it either! By the look of this house and how much she's already loving us, she'll feed us three times a day!"

"As long as she thinks we're just cats, we got it good!"

You entered back into the room. "Aww! You guys getting comfortable? Let me get you something to eat and some water" You go off to the kitchen. You get three bowls and fill them with water before putting them on the ground. "I'll get you guys your own real bowls the next time I go to the store", you assure. You look through your cabinets. Your eyes scanned all the shelves til you found it. A freshly bought pack of tuna. "I knew I had some! Let me open these cans and I'll sit them on the floor for you guys too!" As you went over to your electric can opener, the three cautiously went to the water.

'Just be careful. Don't spill it', Gilbert prepped himself.

'If we don't drink it, it might look suspicious', Francis noted in his head.

'Just. Act. Natural', Toni reported to himself.

"Here you guys go!", you sit down three different tuna cans, one next to each bowl. "You guys eat. I'm gonna get into some more comfortable clothes" You left them alone.

"Hey. Since we're cats, do you think she'd let us stay in the room while she's getting changed?", Gilbert mentioned.

"I bet!", Antonio remarked.

"This cat thing is getting better and better! Free food, she pets us a lot, and a hot chick we get to watch undress whenever we want to!"

"This is the perfect life!", Francis stated. The three then devoured their meal together before you were even done changing.

"Whoa! You guys were hungry", you giggled. You picked up Francis and held him against your chest. He snuggled into your boobs.

'This is the best'

"Come with me", you walk off to your room and close the door.

"Oh god. What the hell is she gonna do to him?", Gilbert asked Toni.

"I-I don't know...S-should we be scared?"

You took Francis to your room's bathroom, where you already had some water running to give him a bath. It was nice and warm too. "Ok! Time to clean you up!"

'Oh god, no! Anything but that!"

You sat on the edge of the tub and tried to sit Francis in your lap but he was struggling against you. "Come on. I know cats don't like baths but it's not that bad. Come on"

'Put me down!! Put me down!! Slip up, so I can make a run for it and hide under your couch or something!' 

He slips away from you. "Fluffy cat!", you called to him as he ran to the door.

'Shit! She closed it!', he scratches at it frantically.

You run to him and grab him with a tight grip. "I'm not dropping you this time!"

'Oh please!! Just one day! We can't even have one day of heaven!'

You march back to the bath then close the bathroom's door as well. You sit him down. "Now that you can't leave, you're taking this bath! Look! It's all nice and warm for ya!" Francis moved to the nearest corner and huddled there. You huffed, "You're gonna fight me, aren't you?"

'Damn right!'

"Ugh! I don't wanna get my night clothes wet" You push the rim of your shorts down. Francis stared at you.

'I-is she really?!...I-is she gonna like get in the bath with me too?!'

You stop. "Wait..."

'No! No! Don't wait! Finish!' You pull your shorts back up. 'Fuck!'

"What am I doing? I'm wearing shorts, duh...I just need to take off my shirt", you compromised with yourself.

'Works for me!You pull your shirt over your head then toss it somewhere on the floor. 'I am so tempted to take this bath now'

You pick him back up. He is now defenseless against the power of your boobs staring right at him, so close he can almost lay on them again. "Bath time" You sit back on the edge of the tub and stick your feet in. You notice he wasn't struggling anymore. "Hm?...Fluffy cat? You want to take this bath now?...Fluffy kitty?" You have his back legs stand on your thighs and his front paws rest on your chest. "Kitty?"

'S-she's doing this on purpose. Your sick torture!'

You kick your feet in the water a little before turning the knob to stop it. Francis snaps back to reality and jumps from your lap. "Kitty! Take your bath!" You reached for him but he kept moving farther away from your grasp. "Fluffy kitty, you get back here and take this bath!! Kitty!" You take your feet out of the water and walk over to him. He was cautious of the dripping water from your legs. You reach down and pick him up. You move him towards the water and his claws come out as he tries to push himself away from it. "Kitty!" He hissed at the water and tried to climb up your arm. "Ah! Fine! Fine! You win! No bath!" You sit him back on the ground and he sighs in relief. You open the door then the bedroom door. He walks out proudly then you go to let out the water you ran.

"I totally saved our asses"

"How? What did she do?", Toni asked.

"She was trying to give me a bath! Our cover would've been blown within twelve minutes of being here!"

Your door was opened again. You went off to the kitchen were you got one of your favorite sweet snacks then lay down on the couch. You tap the couch with your hands, signing for your new cats to come over. They all jump up with you. Francis gets comfortable, in between your legs and lies his head down on your thigh. Antonio, also between your legs, rests his head on your ankle and Gilbert curls up on your lower stomach. You laugh a bit at their positioning then reach for the remote off the floor to turn the tv on. You pet Gilbert'd head as you watch the screen. "Oh yeah. I gotta name you guys...Hm...The fluffy white one, your name is pillow fluff!"

'Dear god, why?'

"Uh! The green eyed one, I'll name you...Purr-ky! Ha! Get it?"

'I don't get it...'

"And you kitty...I'll name you...Bob. Yeeeeeeah! I like that! Bob-Billy!"

'I feel like I got the worst one! I'm too awesome for the name she probably got off Spongebob!'

"Oh! Oh! Better one! I'll name you remy martin, cause your eyes remind me...I really want a drink right now...You guys like your names?" They grumble to themselves. "Aww! I'm glad!"
Brand new series~! Cause I want kitty cats!! >: D...ewe BETTER!!! Just a heads up. They will be pervy...Cause I like'em pervy ewe You awful person!! You will have roommates but I don't wanna spoil anything...Just know they'll help make it all just a little more EPIC!!!

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Cosmicunicorn5 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist

lunaflyaway Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
I love this story. It's hilarious XD
Pinkett1314 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The three most perverted cat in the world and Reader-chan gives them the most ridiculous name ever
hetaliaRussialover Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If I got to name them it would be Kizaro, Mufasa, and night crawler Lol
EnterHetaliaNameHere Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Reader's kind of an idiot...
BleuJaye Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Yep yep rofl
mjk7073 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Nah, I'd name Gil Luckybutt like my friend Katie' s kitten, he was a stray X3
zendeya67 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Student Writer
If I had three cats I would name them Patewataur, Schebulock, Sthephano Lol I just love those names XD
eriko-neko Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014
Sounds awesome~! XD 
SourTomato Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
mom wants to name her next cat Slartybartfast. we can call him Slarty
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